Why You Need To Quit Comparing Yourself To Others

If there's been one thing I've struggled with throughout my blogging journey, it's been comparison, both comparing what I do to other bloggers, and my achievements, and that's a bummer. Not only does this bring me down, but it eats away at my positivity, my excitement and passion for doing what I do. I buries me under self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness, or being lesser and unworthy. It shreds my creativity, and is the biggest bully around.

We compare ourselves to people everyday. We compare ourselves to our equals who have achieved more, lived more, travelled more, have more. We compare ourselves to our elders who have more experience, more skills, more 'I told you so' opportunities. We compare ourselves to our more youthful counterparts, on how they have more time, more joy, more dreams and a lot less manners, and we compare ourselves to people we really shouldn't do, who have more money, more attention, a more fulfilled life than we could ever dream of, and comparison kills. It's time we kicked it's ass.

We need to stop crippling our creativity with comparison, or our dreams will be never be reality.

But how do you stop comparing yourself to others? Every day there's another tweet, another post, another achievement of somebody else's that you wish you we as exciting as, or had written, or had accomplished yourself, and yet while we dream, we're missing out on actually doing exactly that. The more compare, the less we focus on our goals, and the less likely we are to achieve our dreams. Here's a few little ways you can kick comparisons ass to the ground and show it who's boss.

Consume less, create more

Consuming and checking our new and interesting information is almost always a win, but the Spice Girls were right when they said that 'too much of something is just as tough.' There comes a point when you're absorbing so much from everyone else that you feel anything you could contribute just isn't good enough, at least, not in comparison, and that only creates doubt, distress, and ultimately stops you and your passion in it's tracks.

Take a step back from consuming and focus on creating. Create whatever it is that you're passionate about. Be selfish and let yourself be happy - in fact, never settle for less than happiness, especially if it's something you love to do. By all means, learn from other people, take in information, but don't let other people's achievements or opinions dictate how you blog, or what you create. Consume less, and create an awful lot more.

Achieving your own happiness is a journey only you can traverse, so use your own map.

Aim for pleased, not perfection

I can guarantee you that nobody's life is as it looks online, or as wonderful as they claim it is. Nobody tells you the gritty, grubby and terrible parts of their day. Somebody may have won £10 on s scratch card, but they won't tell you that they lost their purse not 5 minutes later containing over £100. Somebody's instagram profile may look as though they spend their days lounging in their socks covered in blankets with a never ending supply of tea, but their instagram doesn't show you how they work 12 hours a day in a job they despise and live for their rare days off.

People rarely share the stark truth, don't mistake somebody's moment of happiness as a perfect life.

Sometimes, all you need is to shot for a new target, and avoiding aiming for perfection. Nothing will ever be perfect, and there will always be mistakes, but to be pleased with something is much better, and won't kill your motivation to achieve. Create things and be pleased. Achieve things and be please.d Look at how far you've come from your own beginning and be pleased, because you've achieved so much against so many odds, and you deserve a pat on the back for that.

Focus on your personal journey

Your journey is personal to you in every way possible, from the date at which you started your adventure, to the speed at which you grow, and comparing these points to somebody else is not only foolish, but it's going to kill your motivation, and your passion, and the only thing you should be killing is what you're doing, aka smashing it.

Not every blogger in a specific niche is going on the same journey as you are in this exact moment. Some people have achieved more quicker than you, and that's okay, that's not to say you're not good enough, or that whatever you offer isn't as good, it just so happens they've gotten there before you. They may have had more time to nail the things you're getting through slowly. They may have gone straight to the organ grinding blog designer rather than going to DIY route. They might have the big bucks to get started on something you're saving pennies for, and that's a-okay. It's not about being there with the rest of them, it's about being where you are, happy.

Try as we might, we'll always compare ourselves to other people we know, people who seem to have their life together and aren't spending money on books and are paying for their mortgage instead. Friends who are getting married and having children and settling for life aren't always in a better position than those who aren't, neither are those who look to have their shit together when their struggling to put food on the table.

Nobody is entirely as they seem, online and in real life, and rather than spend our days comparing ourselves to others, maybe it's time to shift our attention the person we should all be focusing on, the person who needs us to pay attention, work hard and love what we do. Maybe it's time we all compared where we are, and where we want to be, and what we need to do to achieve it. Maybe it's time to be a little selfish and stopped settling for what doesn't make us happy.

It's time to kick comparisons ass.