How Anxiety (and Other Mental Health Conditions) Actually Encourage Me To Crave Rereads

I don't delve into extremely personal things all that much in my blogging endeavours, and on those rare occasions when I do, they've been met with both support and kindness, or I've included them subtly and gently that people have based them by without a seconds glance, and that's a only a good thing. With that in mind, I wanted to talk about the magical properties of books, in that, they've managed to bring me comfort, joy, a sense of happiness and strength in dealing with some nasty monsters that have dared to arise again.

I've shared my life with depression in the past, and sadly, it's reared it's ugly head once more and has shaken up all aspects of my life - my hobbies, my work, my friendships and my family life, and while I absolutely hate how it destroys the very person I am, it has brought with it one uniquely strange positive. I've started rereading books, as an actual hobby. I've talked about the rarity that is rereading books unless it's over the seasonal festive period and how it's not something I do outside of that. Until now.

If you've been following my adventures on Instagram, you'll have seen me do nothing but bang on about Skulduggery Pleasant (only my favourite series of all time!), but it's not the only books I've had the itch to reread. I've felt a pull towards The Curse Workers series, Under the Never Sky, and others that have hit the spot very nicely previously, so why the sudden change of heart. Why am I racing to jump back into the arms of these series when I don't even see the point in completely book collections if I've already read them?

I find comfort in the characters/stories I know.

One of the truly horrible things anxiety and the trauma I've suffered does is separate me from people I previously loved being around. As of this moment, I'm only really at my most comfortable around my parents, which as you can imagine, is quite isolating. Even the mere of mention of social interaction, whether they be complete strangers or those I love is terrifying at an unexplainable level, and yet rereading combats those feelings.

Rereading allows me to accompany people, characters I've known, grown attached to, developed relationships and connections with on adventures I remember and can enjoy over and over again, all while not feeling any of the effects those conditions cause me to have. I feel comfortable, at ease, and happy with these characters, and I don't fear the unknown, the possibly frightening, terrifying expectations and things to come that are within books I've not read.

As strange as it sounds, the predictability of the books I'm rereading, and lack of unexpected actions actually makes the reading experience more pleasurable, and more enjoyable. The knowing isn't a hindrance, it's actually a massive help, and it's enabled me to continue reading as a hobby, even though it's a hobby I love.

Sequels also bring comfort and safety from negative emotions

This is especially evident in all of the books I've read in 2016 so far. All of them have beens sequels to series I know or rereads of series I love, and it's this comfort, this level of safety that keeps me reading. Even sequels that introduce new characters and new scenes, new adventures and new troubles can be comforting if many of the characters are ones I know, trust and feel safe reading about. It's the in-depth connection with these characters, how relatable, how real, how human they feel that keeps me going back to them, and even more so now.

Rereading series allows me recollect past parts of myself

As mentioned above, these conditions don't change my habits or my hobbies or my feelings, they have a huge impact on the person I am, and the kind of person I become afterwards, and more often than I'd like, I see myself becoming a person I don't like, and want pieces of my old self back. While you and I know that this isn't always possible, after all, time travel just isn't a logical nor safe mode of transport, being able to recall more positive moments from my old self, and my past, can help and impact my future, and myself.

Turning back to books I've read and loved before bring up positive emotions and feelings I've felt before, and this can not only help in the moment, but also in my recovery too. By no means is this a method to 'live in the past', but it does allow me to see how I've been shaped, and how the books I've read have played a part in that. Rereading books I've loved, and have created strong feelings in me teach me and allow me to create stronger, more positive feelings in myself for the future.

Suffering from anxiety, depression and trauma can seriously affect your love and enjoyment of certain hobbies in your life, but rereading and/or reading sequels combats that for me, and I'm eternally grateful for it.

That doesn't for one moment mean I think that it's other affects on me mean nothing and are acceptable, no, not at all. It's not an easy task, getting up each morning, leaving the comfort and the safety of my bed, trying to find the strength to go to work, or go out in public for life-sustaining food, or rejigging my brain to generate post ideas, but for as long as reading books I've read and loved before, and sequels to books I've really enjoyed keeps my love for reading and all things books alive, I'll take that small silver lining within a really dark, really difficult place, and treasure it.

Do you reread books? If yes, why, and if not, why not?